I say goodnight…

​Goodnight my friend 
I will hopefully get up tomorrow, 
I simply pray to God if can I be with him today
He just say to me: ‘shut up’ and then tell me to go away.

Good night my friend 
I am not doing anything rash, 
I am not looking for any sympathy or worry to what’s on my mind, 
What can anyone do? I am not sure too… faith can be focused, even when you are blind.

I would say good night
I pray you will see me again, 
I am not going to do anything silly or with haste
I am looking to stay in God’s corner… that timely pace.

I am going to say Good night
I won’t drink, or take drugs ever again,
I am just going to close my eyes… and remember… I love you my learned friend..

Jason
16th May 2026

I sit here quietly… (Sobreity poem)

​I sit here quietly, wondering ‘how’, ‘what’ and ‘why”?
I have gone past the angst and ant anytime I can easily start to cry. 

People think they know what’s going on with my brain?
I fear they don’t have a clue,
I am trying to keep my sanity for one more day.. what else can I do?

I struggle with addictions all my life,
The gregarious nature of wanting more, more and more,
But the fact is I will fall down on my arms, hands and possibly face… wouldn’t that be sore?

I know I am here today, 18 months and one a week sober
I am learning a new life.. and if I need to, I shall go a little more slower.

Today is what’s promised 
And I thank God for that each day, 
I know in my heart I will enjoy this journey of sobriety more than I can ever know
As this is a passage of discovery, which each of us are able to grow…

Jason
16th May 2026

My Dad…. Andreas or Andy Pandy x

​It wasn’t so long ago since he passed. 
3 years and I still can’t believe he isn’t here?
I have moved away from my family, because I wanted a safe space to be near.

I miss the old sod,
He is the best friend I could have ever asked, 
However, we didn’t start on good terms, but that’s my problem trying to unmask.

He was funny, and said: ‘what’s his name’ quite a bit
He was fun loving and often a silly git. 

We miss him, 
He was a protector and loving friend. 

A husband, father and Uncle who knew how to take charge and reach out
His is an example for us all. Well… that’s what I prefer to vocalise and know about.

“Mr Andreas Andrews” you beautiful man. Still miss you… x”
Jason
16th May 2026

The mind of an addict

​You see, what must come up must come down,
You see the mind of an addict doesn’t see the consequences, so they often drown.

They wake up in the morning often look at denial, 
And to be honest with you this situation can last quite a while.

You put in the work as it comes from within,
I didn’t think I would be an addict, but who am I kidding?… this wasn’t a win.

I would have people say: “go on.. one more for the road.. that won’t hurt”
They don’t understand your body, and they don’t care because you do eventually disperse.

The mind of an addict is limitless 
They don't care what happens to them along the way, 
The level of control is nonexistent, and if you don’t understand, then read and learn more today.

The addict will grow and the disease is there
There is ‘no perhaps’ or ‘maybes’ because that doesn’t fit in our world,
We simply let it take over, as when we us our stomachs can’t take anymore, therefore we eventually hurled. 

Jason
16th May 2026

A day in the life of a diabetic

​Life is full of ups and downs
With this bloody condition you have moments you have no choice but to drown. 
With insulin dependant people, they don’t produce the insulin from the islet of a red blood cell which comes from the pancreas
And to be honest with you, the effects are quite cantankerous. 

I have told partners to leave me alone, 
They have loved me because I am on the ball, 
But the emotion diabetes comes with, you often tend to stall. 

The mind struggles 
Emotions runs high, 
And there’s are others with emotional that connect to yours
So you try to remain calm, but the chances of that hit the very core.

You see, I know we all have problems in our health
And as we get older things will enviably struggle, 
So you choose the people you want to be around because the vibe they give shall hit your soul
It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent or loved one, unfortunately you need to protect your ‘safe space’ and they need to go.

“Life living with type 1 diabetes”
Jason
16th May 2026

Starting the weekend

​wake up, put cold water on your face 
This is another weekend to enjoy,
Pray first, a default to employ. 

Wake up and say “thank you” 
Be polite and try to shine your light, 
God gave you this life to live
Just be polite and try not to overly give. 

Find your balance 
Find your peace within, 
Stop asking ‘why this?’ And ‘why that?’
Just ‘be still for a second’ there is plenty inside of you to reckon.

Remember you are blessed 
This may be your last day here,
So try to enjoy this weekend my friend as there’s plenty else to fear. 

Jason
16th May 2026

It’s almost time

​it’s almost that anniversary, the one you don’t want to remember 
Three years ago my friend passed away,
I feel melancholy still and a little sad as I recall he couldn’t stay.

I was numb
Didn’t know where to turn,
I asked God to take me away too, I didn’t want to be around others therefore I too looked to burn.

But the reality I am here today
Missing that old baster’ as I now refuse to fray.

It hurts when the17th May arrives 
I know today, God wants me here to continue writing poems in order to strive.

I miss you Andrea’s Andreo, my good ol ‘ Dad and dependable friend 
I talk to him everyday, as one day we all shall descend.

“One of May poems for the legend.., Dad xx’
Jason 
15th May 2026